Challenges

I've heard several people say that God gives us challenges that he knows we are capable of handling... but today is one of those days where I'm frustrated that God thinks I'm capable. Today I want to be able to be a parent the easy way, to make choices for a child that is mine. As a foster parent you have to give that up. Today is hard, when I have to attempt to parent a screaming 16 month old who is tired and angry because he's confused about life. I can't make it any better for him. I have no control.

I currently have 8 friends who are all pregnant and due between January and March... sometimes I wonder why God has given me the challenge to be a mommy this way. Don't get me wrong, I'm more than happy for all my friends and genuinely look forward to meeting each and every one of these precious babies. I just don't understand why God does what he does... and on hard days I have to accept that I might never understand, but continue to trust that his way is better even when it doesn't feel better. Today I don't want to be the one that gets the challenges, but I resign to the belief that one day maybe all the pieces will fit together.